How to protect our girls in a world that tells them they’re not pretty enough

girl, teenager, lonely
 (Photo: Getty/iStock)

I grew up in the early 2000s, a time when beauty was defined by what we saw on TV screens - flawless models and actresses held up as the ideal. As a teenager stepping into the world of social media, things only got worse. Influencers became the new standard of beauty, setting the bar not just high, but impossibly high.

My story isn’t unique. In fact, it's the norm.

In today’s digital age, girls are growing up in a world that whispers constantly: you're not enough. Not pretty enough. Not skinny enough. Not curvy enough. Not smooth enough. Not glowing or 'dewy' enough. Basically, not perfect enough.

With every scroll, these whispers turn into shouts, especially through the faces of influencers whose videos and images have been softened, filtered, reshaped, brightened, and refined by clever editing tools and beauty apps.

These are the women being celebrated, placed on pedestals, glorified in ads, and desired by the masses.

The harsh truth is that our girls are being sold “effortless beauty”, when in reality it is often anything but effortless and rather is an exhausting, time-consuming and expensive production with cosmetic treatments, digital enhancements, contouring and curated lighting all part of the package.

Yet, many impressionable girls are unaware of how fake a lot of it is and it’s breaking not just their hearts, but their spirits.

They begin to believe their God-given appearance is a problem to fix. Their worth becomes tied to shadows, likes, and unattainable standards. This mindset can erode their self-worth, diminish their confidence, and for those in Christ, even begin to disrupt their relationship with God. They strive endlessly, trying to meet an ever-changing beauty ideal, starving their joy and exhausting their peace.

For some, the consequences are severe: body dysmorphia, eating disorders, objectification, or in the darkest moments, suicidal thoughts. Others - some worryingly young - are resorting to spending a lot of time and money on injectables and cosmetic procedures to change their faces - something dubbed the 'Love Island' effect here in the UK. 

It is no wonder that even some celebrities, like Pamela Anderson, Gwyneth Paltrow and Jamie Lee Curtis, have begun to reject these impossible standards. They've opted out of the matrix of enhancements and embraced natural aging and authenticity. And I think they're on to something.

Long before Hollywood woke up to this lie, God had already told us the truth through His Word. Scripture says in 1 Samuel 16:7, “People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” God’s view of beauty has never changed. He sees beyond the filtered face. He formed every girl with intention, beauty, and divine purpose (Jeremiah 1:5).

So, we - as parents, mentors, sisters, and friends - have a holy calling: to protect our girls from the deception of this culture. We must not let them believe that God’s design is not good enough.

So, how do we protect them?

1. Teach the Truth Early and Often

Before the world has a chance to define them, let God’s Word do it. Our girls need to know very early on that beauty begins with God. Remind them frequently that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Speak life over them. Don’t just offer compliments but give them truth. Tell them that their worth is not something they earn—it's something they already have in Christ, who paid the price for their lives with His precious blood (1 Peter 1:18-19; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

2. Expose the Illusion

Show them how filters and beauty apps work. Help them compare edited vs. unedited pictures. Explain how influencers are often paid to promote products using unrealistic images. Pull up before-and-after images of celebrities who’ve undergone cosmetic procedures or had editing fails. Help them see the lie so they don’t absorb it as truth. When they realise that even the women they admire don’t look like their photos, it helps dismantle the power of comparison.

3. Highlight What Truly Matters

Celebrate the character traits that reflect Christ - kindness, integrity, humility, courage, compassion (Ephesians 4:23; Philippians 2:3-5; Colossians 3:12). Affirm their faith. Let them see that beauty isn’t skin-deep; it’s spirit deep.

As 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

4. Model Contentment with Your Own Body

Your example speaks louder than your words. Let them hear you thank God for your body instead of criticising or shaming it. If you celebrate the way God made you, they’ll learn to do the same.

5. Pray for Their Eyes and Their Hearts

At the end of the day, this is spiritual warfare (Ephesians 6:12). We plant the seeds, but God grows them (1 Corinthians 3:6-7). Pray for your daughters and sisters in Christ. Ask God to guard their minds from comparison and heal their hearts from insecurity. Pray that they find peace not in how they look, but in Whose they are.

We Can’t Compete with the World’s Standards - and We Don’t Have To

Trying to keep up with trends, filters, and unrealistic ideals will only leave our girls anxious, exhausted, and empty. But when they root their identity in Christ, as beloved daughters of the Most High God, they’ll find a kind of peace and beauty that the world cannot offer (Galatians 3:26; John 14:27).

They don't need to become prettier. They need to become anchored. Anchored in love. Anchored in truth. Anchored in the unshakeable reality that they were created on purpose, for a purpose, by a God who makes no mistakes (Jeremiah 1:5; Ephesians 2:10; Psalm 18:30).

Let’s protect our girls - not by shielding them from every influence, but by filling them with so much truth that the lies can't find room to grow.

News
Christian congregation in England’s film capital seeks new vicar
Christian congregation in England’s film capital seeks new vicar

After more than three years without a resident rector, All Saints is actively seeking a new vicar to take on full-time ministry in one of England’s most distinctive parish settings.

Amnesty International urges Libya to quash convictions of Christians
Amnesty International urges Libya to quash convictions of Christians

Concerns are mounting over the plight of 11 Christians imprisoned in Libya after trials that Amnesty International has condemned as deeply flawed and unjust.

Churches step in to help parents struggling with back-to-school costs
Churches step in to help parents struggling with back-to-school costs

Churches are helping ease the financial burden on families this summer by providing free pre-loved school uniforms.

Israel accused of weaponizing aid in Gaza conflict
Israel accused of weaponizing aid in Gaza conflict

Aid organisations say that “most major international NGOs have been unable to deliver a single truck of lifesaving supplies”.